is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
