so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw a hot homeless man
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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