my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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