i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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