matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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