It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
