yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
