youre lurking in front of me
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize