he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
