she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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