I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
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ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
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We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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