I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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