direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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