all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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