I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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