I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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