I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
