Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
50% drunk capacity currently
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
