I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
