I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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