I accidentally had phone sex last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
