trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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