Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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