So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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