turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
