I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize