dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
