wrigley field is MILF paradise
nutella sex= disaster
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
