Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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