Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
