I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize