I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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