oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
