More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just tell him i said nine months
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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