You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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