i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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