And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
