New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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