Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
