my vag is so smooth its legendary
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
