Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
