Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
