hotel room ftw
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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