You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
