I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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