and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
did you just send me my own nude
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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