dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
