Midget sex pt 2 tonight
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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