You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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