I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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