He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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