He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
