if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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