He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
