dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
