Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
