not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
