Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize