Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
