You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize