oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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