Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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