what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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