If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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